There are people my age – people I’ve grown up with – that are already having their second kid. And here I am as time goes by, not getting any younger, wondering what I’ve done wrong and more importantly; what exactly I should do in order to find a husband. It feels like I’ve exhausted my options and am basically just sitting here completely clueless. I told you guys about my reason for wanting to get married… and it needs to happen soon because the pressure from my family is driving me crazy.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

Previously… marrying outside Sweden was an option. But I’ve only just got a new job, my first job after studies are over, and leaving all of this for an insecure future is not an idea my heart is in.

I just don’t know what to do.

Maybe I haven’t made enough du’a.

I’m not gonna lie; I do feel sad seeing one couple after another announcing their big day on Facebook. It doesn’t make me jealous… just sad. And once again I’ve started to question what’s wrong with me. Let’s add age to all of that. You know what’s worse though? People younger than me fretting over the same thing.


2 thoughts on “Ignominy

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