For the past couple of weeks I’ve felt quite down. Loneliness has been the biggest cause. But it’s not just any loneliness. This loneliness is connected to practicing my faith. It’s in my home, among my friends, the place I live in… all in all, I’ve been feeling misplaced. Add that to recent sad and stressful events in my life, and basically what you get is depression. Muslim Twitter has been supportive, but that didn’t feel enough.
Today, on my way to Jummah prayer, I decided that instead of reading the fictional series I’m on right now, I’m going to read The Sealed Nectar, which I started reading last year I think but still haven’t managed to finish (I often read several books at the same time). Thought that would set me in a spiritual mood.
The page my Kindle opens, the page I was on, talks about the Sahabah and the struggles they faced upon embracing Islam… especially in regards to their families. Subhaan Allah, I think.
Then I arrive at the mosque and the khutbah starts. Guess what the imam talks about? Faith and family. The struggles the prophets faced with their family members with regards to Islam.
“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (13:28).
The above and similar ayats and hadiths are frequent reminders on my Twitter timeline. I read them, but I couldn’t reach that… I couldn’t reach the level of remembrance needed in order to find peace. I kept thinking I wouldn’t be able to reach it, because I’m not pious enough.
But all I really had to do was resist some temptations. All I really had to do was to go to sleep when I was tired instead of staying up and wasting my time. All I really had to do… was attend one Jummah.
“If he approaches Me by a hand’s width, I approach him by an arm’s length; and if he approaches Me by an arm’s length, I approach him by two arms’ length. And if he comes to Me walking, I hasten to him swiftly.” (Al-Bukhari)