Let’s Talk About Boys

I met up with a childhood friend of mine after ages yesterday, and she said something rather surprising. We were discussing a religious guy who has a girl he likes and is planning to marry, who doesn’t wear hijab. And my friend said that even the religious guys these days go for the obvious beauty rather than religiosity and other factors related to personality. This was new to me because the religious guys I‘ve talked to all look for hijabis (the fact that many of these guys haven’t been religious up to the point of marriage however, is a different story). My friend said that this has to do with being brought up as Muslims; as we’re not allowed to date and so on, guys go for beauty because well they’re guys.

More or less all the Bengali girls that I’ve seen or heard of getting married in recent years here in Sweden, are pretty. So empirical data suggests that the pretty girls get married first?

So… in essence… nothing really matters except for beauty in the eyes of Bengali men? You know, this is what I’ll be assuming until someone from that group comes and proves me wrong.

Oh and by the way you lot are ugly. No seriously… what we’re left with is – if we as girls choose to be that shallow as well – to choose the least ugly one.

Come on, argue with me. Prove me wrong. I’m inviting you to. Because if you don’t, then this is the presumption I’m going to go with from now on. And when aunties ask about marriage I’m gonna tell them your sons are disillusioned cave men. They’re not intellectual or sophisticated enough for me.

That is, until someone proves me wrong. Show me that there are exceptions to this rule. That not all Bengali guys are like this. Because if it is, if aesthetic pleasure is what it all boils down to, then marriage is not for me.


9 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Boys

  1. Beauty is what attracts the beholder but its mostly the personality/intellect that keeps a person’s interest alive/fed, I thouht this was common practise but I might be an anomaly as well in this regard. I like your point of view though, not that I think its correct but it gave me some perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Point of view” is not fact, which means you can’t deem it correct or wrong. I’m glad it helped you gain perspective. I can also add that this is how many female Muslim intellectuals feel these days.


  2. Salam sister,
    It’s the first article I read on your blog 🙂
    I agree with you, I think most of men look for beauty first but I noticed that religious men won’t marry girls if fhey are “only beautiful” and not pious or not deep. I guess it also depend of the depth of the man himself.. But you know, most of guys I see, go out with superficial beautiful girls just for fun & when they’re ready to marry, they look first for a pious women, even if of course they want her to be beautiful In their eyes, which I understand since I think it’s important to be pleased when we look at the person we share our life with. However, beauty is sooo subjective, and it’s not only the appearence that makes our beauty.
    But who cares about my opinion?! I’m not a bengali man, I’m not even a man! Haha
    By the way, you seem to have lost faith in marriage, sister, and I hope you will change your mind because marriage is something undescriptible.. 😉
    I will keep exploring your blog now!
    May Allah bless you!


    1. Walaikum salaam sister,
      Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog :).
      Yeah I know, that’s why I was surprised at what my friend said.
      And yeah, that’s what’s wrong with many guys from Muslim families; they date and feel that’s perfectly ok but right when it’s time for marriage they suddenly become “religious” and want to marry a hijabi.
      I haven’t lost faith in marriage… I’ve seen successful marriages and couples that have been married for over 50 years. It’s just I’ve lost faith in ever finding a guy to marry.
      Wa iyyakum!

      Liked by 1 person

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