For some of us it is like that; bad things have to happen in order for us to remember even basic stuff. I used to look down on myself, but now I remember that I’m a person of high integrity. I remember how my friends, my peers, my colleagues etc look at me. And I believe them now. I kept saying I was confident but it wasn’t until my confidence was challenged that I really understood what I am and where I am in position to other people.
I kept thinking that in order to be humble you have to make certain sacrifices; you shouldn’t be loud or boast. But I took it a bit too far. Some people understand and appreciate humility, but I would say that most people probably take it as low self-esteem or weakness. I am not weak. Sometimes you have to look at yourself in position to others. Not in terms of wealth, education/career or beauty, but in terms of integrity, principles… in terms of person. Some people are out there to hurt others. They might not be bad all through but they have bad in them. You’re better than them, because you stay true to yourself and everyone you meet. You are honest not only in terms of truth vs lie but in all the things you do and in how you act. There’s no BS about you. So you are better. And you’re not being arrogant in thinking that.
I needed a blow to my head to wake up. To take charge of things again. I’m not settling. Never.
I have drive. Not as ubiquitous as many others but it’s there. Fuel was added to my fire. I know who I am now.