The Black Duckling

I’m sitting at the mosque… just sitting. I came here for the Dhuhr prayer after attending my cousin’s high school graduation. I have plans today. I’m going to meet up with some classmates for dinner. Before that I was planning on sending in some job applications. But it’s so peaceful here… and so quiet. When is it ever this quiet?

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This is where I'm sitting, on the floor.

I feel like I come to the mosque in secret. The people in my surroundings… well… let’s just say they’re prejudiced.

But this part of me seems to be growing, and I can’t contain it anymore. I feel like I need a channel through which I can express this significant part of me.

I have spent my whole life not fitting in, and now another alien element has been added to my personality. How do I deal with this? Who do I turn to?

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4 thoughts on “The Black Duckling

  1. Good to see that the mosque is a place of peace and calm for you; not so good that you’ve felt the need to hide this. I guess the trite answer to your final question is “turn to Allah”. But in addition do feel free to talk further with me if you wish. Always there for you my friend.

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    1. Thanks Ken… yeah it’s difficult in Bengali families. I’ve seen friends and heard of many others who have had the same journey where they’re trying to learn more about their faith but their family isn’t supportive because they think it’s “extremist”. I’m glad we’re experiencing a generation shift now though as those my age are settling down and – hopefully – being more understanding towards their children’s choices. But you never know.

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      1. There’s always a fine line between taking your faith seriously and extremism. It’s no different for Christians. The issue for Muslims is the baggage which comes with it from all the media attention. I suspect tensions of one sort or another will always be there. All we can do is disprove the lies by acting honourably and faithfully.

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