The Unchanging Narrative

It’s that time again… when I need to vent without specifying exactly what I’m venting about.

When bad things happen, some people blame circumstances. I blame myself. As a result, friends console me. But my friends are good. They’re so good towards me that I honestly cannot take their opinions into consideration. But that’s how friends are supposed to be. So that’s alright. I wouldn’t want them to be any other way.

I blame myself. My own shortcomings, deficiencies… why it’s always that I seem to stumble at the finishing line. Why I’m never enough. And just like it sometimes feels better when your classmates fail with you, I ask where others like me are.

Because it feels like everyone, everywhere around me, is very very good at something. Does the fact that I am not, implicate that there is something wrong with me? But if it is… do I even care? I honestly don’t feel like I have the energy to keep reevaluating myself on matters/traits I can never force myself to value.

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