Alright, a short update on what’s going on in my life at the moment…

Currently I’m in my second semester of the Masters program. This period I’m taking the course “Psychoanalysis – Application on Culture and Society” and a course in semiotics. The former is purely out of curiosity – Freud is definitely not someone I share my views with but many of Lacan’s theories are very useful in literary analysis. Semiotics is influenced somewhat by psychoanalysis, and as it is closely linked with linguistics I believe it can be very useful when doing close reading.

Next week I have two internship interviews. One is at a company that works with printing and distribution of books and one is at a publishing house. The former internship starts right away (if I get it, that is) and the latter is for the fall. I’m nervous but hopeful at the same time. Because I got these interviews right after I applied, I feel I may be a bit too hopeful.

Apart from all that I’m still working with the cognitive mapping research project for a teacher in the English department. Well… maybe not working as much as I would like. I should see to that…

I have no particular plans for the summer. I need to do a lot of reading, as next semester will require a thesis proposal out of me. I want to write something in the postcolonial field… unfortunately I’ve only been able to take one course in it, which is why I’ll have to do a lot of reading on my own.

Except for all of this… as you might have deduced from my previous rambling post, the cogwheels inside my think-tank are working so hard they’re almost close to the warning level. The reason behind this is that I’ve made a decision, one that is to be implemented later this year if all goes as planned, but just thinking about actually going through with it creates turmoil in my abdominal region. I wish I could talk to someone about it but I’ve promised myself I won’t, because if I’m too scared to go through with it then someone besides me will know of my failure. And too many people know about my past failures. I’m constantly scared I come across as a person not very serious with life. The fact that my lame sense of humor seems to permeate through the evidently thin layers of my propriety increases that notion.

But then again, it’s all paranoia isn’t it? That’s what I think the world thinks of me… which I suppose eventually is what I think of myself.