So my primary aim – if I have not clarified it enough already – with coming to Bangladesh this time was to observe Ramadan. I wanted to escape the 20 hour long fasts in Sweden, and as it is summer vacation and I didn’t need to work during the summer (I had saved enough money), I thought it a prime time to visit this place after four years. Furthermore, the last time I might have celebrated Eid-al-Fitr here was when I was a baby so I have no memories of that holiday here in Bangladesh. Eid is celebrated properly here, as opposed to back home when sometimes we don’t have any celebrations at all.
I was able to observe Ramadan as planned alhamdulillah, and the Eid celebrations were amazing and I received lots of money from relatives!
My secondary aim was to discover various new restaurants, shop and maybe hang out with a couple of my friends who are also here in Bangladesh over the summer. Lastly, I have a wedding to attend.
However this one issue has been hovering over my head ever since I came. I cannot write the details of it, and explaining it to anybody will take a whole day and sweat-breaking amounts of convincing, but I can mention it briefly. Basically, we’re facing issues with properties here. I never wanted to be drawn into these issues but had to because I have to support my mom through all of this. And when you have such huge unsolved problems in your life, regardless how much you try to, you can never really enjoy anything. Guilt would never leave me if I roamed around leaving mom to solve these issues all by herself. And I don’t regret the time I’ve spent here, however boring it was to be stuck in Chittagong (that’s where the main property related problem lies) for almost two weeks.
I feel I need to do this explaining because everybody comes to Bangladesh to enjoy and do this and that, and they expect me to do the same. I would of course, if we weren’t facing these problems. If Allah wills and I come back next year, maybe these problems will all be solved and I can do all those things other people come here to do… like exploring restaurants and travel around the country (although even if I could I would never agree to travel in this heat and during the rain season when everything is muddy 😐 ).
So that’s why I’m not doing what you guys are expecting me to do and prompting me to do.