Why Things Have Seemed So Great Lately

This is a time when they ask, but I don’t answer. And not answering has become a habit. I don’t want to answer because I don’t want people to try to help me. Nobody can. I’m not facing a problem that can be solved. I’m blue and cannot talk it away… because there is no reason for me to feel like this, and there’s all the reason in the world.

Independence is something young adults take pride in when they achieve it… but the older you grow the more it burdens you. Eventually it can be broken down into two parts; loneliness + responsibility. You might live in a family, meaning not alone, and have responsibilities – yet you feel lonely.

I have lost the ability to open up to people. I’m scared that people have lost the will to care; that they’ve stopped being observant. In younger days when I thought I was lonely, I was this shy little kid who nobody noticed. Today, I am noticed… but oh am I lonely. It’s been such a long time since I was mentally dissected. Been so long since somebody cared to provoke me. Maybe I’m returning to that invisible state. Maybe I’m losing the grip of imagination and am turning into a machine.

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8 thoughts on “Why Things Have Seemed So Great Lately

    1. Aww thanks Stefan <3. When you think nobody’s listening and somebody all of a sudden responds, it catches you off guard!

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  1. I think I’m in that phase too. Atleast you want people to notice, but as for me, I don’t believe anyone can tell me what is wrong with because I don’t know what the problem is myself. I’m almost always not in the mood to socialize. sigh Hopefully we’ll snap out of it soon.

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    1. I’m pretty sure nobody can tell me what’s wrong either. Or maybe they can, but it still won’t help me. To be honest, I don’t even like it when people ask me what’s wrong. I just want them to understand that SOMETHING might be wrong and just be there without asking about the details. It’s difficult to explain… it’s like I want the attention but at the same time I don’t.

      Yeah I think these are just phases we pass in and out of. Yet that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to cope.

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      1. Sometimes. Yes. And that complexity is probably what keeps my feelings locked up so much. But that doesn’t sit well with me and sooner or later I fear the dam may burst. If you have the opportunity to share with someone, or some people, I recommend you keep taking it – even despite that complexity…

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