Unwanted Attention

Mom picked this flower for me in the morning.
Mom picked this flower for me in the morning.

So yesterday turned out fine after all… we all went out for dinner and mom made a cake… I had eaten so much I could barely move afterwards :?.

A week from now I’ll be going on my first trip this year, to a city in the south of Sweden called Malmö. There is a bridge connecting Sweden to Denmark, which we might drive over. And yes it will be a road trip. I’m looking forward to it, even though I’m a bit nervous for Rayan as it will be his first road trip ever (he doesn’t like being in the car for too long).

I’ve been thinking about a problem that I’ve had all my life; unwanted attention. As a kid, I was extremely shy and I didn’t fit in anywhere so it was all fine. But as I grew up, I started getting the attention of people I really never benefitted from in life. People who have wasted my time and led me down the wrong paths. Every now and then though, I’ve been lucky enough to meet a really good person who has turned out to be an amazing friend.

I think the reason why I’ve had all this unwanted attention has been because I’ve always been afraid to seem rude in the beginning. Eventually when I’ve realized what kind of person I’m dealing with though, I haven’t really cared how I’ve treated that person. This is bad, and I think I still have that habit. I really stink at reading people, and so I keep making the same mistake. And in the process, I think I actually scare away many good people.

Which is something I can’t afford… because I need that special Mr. Someone to enter sometime around now. I need to still my mom’s worries and well… my own. I know there is nothing terribly wrong with me… at least not anymore :?. But I also know that I lack some of the characteristics that are normal for girls in my time. Which is kind of scary because there’s a risk a girl like me might end up with a guy who’s ten times more intelligent… and intelligent people like that scare me for various reasons.

Anyway… I think I first need to deal with all this unwanted attention. Sometimes I wish I was just… normal…

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5 thoughts on “Unwanted Attention

  1. Let me see….this article has many aspects/reflections to it ! I cannot comment on all of these as I don’t know you so well.

    I will comment on your reflections in the last paragraph. As you obviously know every person is unique with his/her own facets which differentiates them from the next person. Everyone tries to stand out and I am sure you are the same and do so as well.

    For some reason I read your article and I thought about the movie Let the Right One In or the Låt den rätte komma in. I don’t know why but it just seemed appropriate to me for some reason.

    /M

    P.S. I hope you have a great trip to Malmö. Try and check out the moving building. I failed to see it the last I was there. Next time 🙂

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    1. Yeah we all are unique of course… I don’t have any doubts about that… it’s just sometimes that uniqueness doesn’t benefit you as much as you’d like…

      I haven’t seen that movie I’m afraid.

      Yeah well we’re only going for two nights and Rayan is going with us so it all depends on how much he can take and what his dad decides. I did tell my brother about that building… but we’ll see if we can make it :).

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  2. You were not clear why you were scared of intelligent people ? Why is that may I ask ?

    Also intelligence has so many connotations . Which one did you mean ?

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    1. I used the wrong word… I acutally meant sly; I’m scared of sly people. And I also don’t like to be overanalyzed, which many who claim to be intelligent has a habit of doing.

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