So yesterday turned out fine after all… we all went out for dinner and mom made a cake… I had eaten so much I could barely move afterwards :?.
A week from now I’ll be going on my first trip this year, to a city in the south of Sweden called Malmö. There is a bridge connecting Sweden to Denmark, which we might drive over. And yes it will be a road trip. I’m looking forward to it, even though I’m a bit nervous for Rayan as it will be his first road trip ever (he doesn’t like being in the car for too long).
I’ve been thinking about a problem that I’ve had all my life; unwanted attention. As a kid, I was extremely shy and I didn’t fit in anywhere so it was all fine. But as I grew up, I started getting the attention of people I really never benefitted from in life. People who have wasted my time and led me down the wrong paths. Every now and then though, I’ve been lucky enough to meet a really good person who has turned out to be an amazing friend.
I think the reason why I’ve had all this unwanted attention has been because I’ve always been afraid to seem rude in the beginning. Eventually when I’ve realized what kind of person I’m dealing with though, I haven’t really cared how I’ve treated that person. This is bad, and I think I still have that habit. I really stink at reading people, and so I keep making the same mistake. And in the process, I think I actually scare away many good people.
Which is something I can’t afford… because I need that special Mr. Someone to enter sometime around now. I need to still my mom’s worries and well… my own. I know there is nothing terribly wrong with me… at least not anymore :?. But I also know that I lack some of the characteristics that are normal for girls in my time. Which is kind of scary because there’s a risk a girl like me might end up with a guy who’s ten times more intelligent… and intelligent people like that scare me for various reasons.
Anyway… I think I first need to deal with all this unwanted attention. Sometimes I wish I was just… normal…