Anybody Need Any Help?

Yesterday I read a blog post and felt the urge to advise a young fellow who was going through a situation I’m unfortunately very well acquainted with (or rather was). What and whom it was about is irrelevant; what astounded me was how I felt giving the advice. Too Many people don’t like being given advice, and as they make sure to let you know, it hurts as “all you wanted was to help out”. But when someone appreciates it, and when your advice actually helps someone, it feels… good. Helping people makes me feel… complete… if that makes any sense. I’ve felt so empty lately, but that little exchange of words reminded me of how much I actually enjoy diving deep into other people’s problems. It’s actually very healthy to look away from your own shit every once in a while, excuse the expression. We focus so much on ourselves sometimes that it consumes us.

Picture courtesy: http://www.glogster.com/yennadongeorgia/problem-/g-6lfsnt2cu42hp4qr0ac2ra0

Now the problem is, I don’t have friends who go through stuff. Well I’m sure they do, but only one of them share the problems with me and most of the times I can’t give her any proper advice because she’s already very smart, so I just end up supporting and encouraging her, which also feels very good. But other than her, none of my friends come to me with any serious problems that I can help them solve. I need more people with issues in my life! I don’t know why but I’ve always been the person with the most problems among my friends. Thanks to God, I’m out of that phase right now… and now I’m actually looking for trouble! But not in my own life of course :P.

So um… if you’re… you know… heh heh heh…

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Anybody Need Any Help?

  1. Rinth, we are far more similar than I thought! Even I’m someone who loves listening to others’ problems, solving it. When the other person appreciates my help, I feel the same sense of completeness that you mentioned. I’ve always wanted to be a psychologist because of this reason, but then I realized that I don’t really need to take up a career to do it. So, even I keep an eye out for people with problems. 🙂 I’ll be sure to let you know if there’s something bothering me. 🙂

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    1. That would be awesome ^_^! You know, I don’t think it would be the same thing if one were to become a psychologist. I don’t know, I just get this feeling that things would be a lot more complicated and even though I bet psychologists like what they do, it’s still their job you know.

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  2. Oh boy you’re opening up a can of worms there Rinth! You could end up with all sorts of dysfunctional issues arriving on your doorstep…

    I think one of the first places to go for this is to make sure you ask friends, genuinely, how they are. Ask them how things are going even long after you know they mentioned some problem – maybe they brought it up on their blog even?! If you keep asking, sooner or later, someone reaches out and trusts you with a little thing. Then something bigger. And so on.

    But remember that trust is a two-way thing. If you want to listen to someone else talk about their problems, you have to be prepared to talk about your own too…

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    1. Yeah I’m still working with my trust issues… but see things haven’t always been this way. I used to open up to my friends all the time, actually too much. So much that after a certain point I felt “cheap”, in lack of better words. And they wouldn’t share anything. In the cruel part of my mind, I thought they were people who lacked “depth”, but in reality for some reason, I’ve always considered my friends closer than they’ve considered me. Only one of my friends share as much with me as I share with her.

      This, along with some other stuff, made me regress to my trust issues which I had as a teenager (as the school psychologist/counselor pointed out in ninth grade).

      But I understand of course, that if someone opens up to me, I “owe” something to that person as well.

      Aha… on their blog? Do YOU have a problem that I can help you with :D?

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      1. hee hee 🙂 Rinth I ALWAYS have problems my friend! Not that I’m likely to share them too loudly on the blogosphere of course…but I always welcome a listening ear in private…

        I think it sounds like you were opening up to people who just weren’t ready for the same level of depth to the friendship. I agree with you about the need for opening up to be a two-way process.and when you open up and they don’t then it is just not a friendship that is going anywhere.

        But I hope you never have to feel ‘cheap’ again because you shouldn’t ever feel that when you share your deepest wounds with people. I know you well enough to know you don’t deserve that and I hope you can build on good solid friendships from now on.

        Believe me, I know what I’m talking about here. I’ve had some hurts in the past too…

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        1. Yeah I mean you learn from past experiences to read people faster, so that you don’t end up getting hurt again. Unfortunately, as in my case, it sometimes gets so far that you end up having built walls around yourself.

          I’m not saying this just because I want to play psychologist :P, but friendship is all about listening and supporting, so you have a huge ear over here if you ever need one :)!

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