It’s so easy to guide other people – it’s impossible to guide yourself. I need a guide now more than ever before. Why now, when nothing is going wrong? Well, because I finally dare admit that I do need a guide. I have always and am still extremely self-conscious, so I thought I would never need anyone to keep me on track. Unfortunately I am starting to have… identity-blackouts – I lose sight of myself at times.

People don’t take me seriously, and I understand that it all lies in my demeanor… and maybe also on me not having achieved anything in life. If I go on like this I am afraid I will break again, and that this time it will be worse than before. The problem is that people are all so extremely practical-minded. You tell them you’re down, they tell you to keep yourself busy. If it really were that easy, would I be here now? I spent the whole 2012 restoring every piece of broken bone inside my soul, so I know every trick in the book. I also know the tricks to use when you don’t want to use the tricks. That’s how much I have learned to care about myself. But it all goes to waste if I give up now. I don’t want to, but I also know I can’t do this without someone pointing things out for me. Because if the world hasn’t become blurry, then my vision has.

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7 thoughts on “

  1. The advice is often given to writers that they should get a mentor – someone they trust enough to share their writing with and get support and advice from. I think that is good advice for life too so I think your thoughts here are doubly good!

    As always, you’re more than welcome to get in touch with me privately should you so wish. πŸ™‚

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  2. You know what I love the most about your writing? You are very open about your emotions. I’m going through a phase of loneliness but I’d think a hundred times before blogging about it. I’d keep thinking about who could possibly be interested in how lonely I’m and put it aside for later. So, I love your openness. I have no solution to offer, since I’m kind of in a similar situation. So, let’s just get through this in the best way possible. πŸ™‚ Keep yourself together, don’t ever give up. πŸ™‚
    And I know it sounds so fake and stupid, but yeah, if you’d like a stranger to befriend, mail me.

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    1. Thank you :). And no, that doesn’t sound fake or stupid. Sometimes I feel like us “personal bloggers” are cursed to meet other people in same situations but never be able to truly meet them, you know. So I might just email you some rainy Sunday when I’m “down below” :).

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