Today I attended the introduction of the course I’m studying this semester, English I. And all of a sudden there’s too much to do. My body has gotten used to the extensive amount of leisure time I’ve had for almost a whole month now, and I feel stressed. Even while I was working, there was nothing I needed to keep on my mind. But once you start school, too many things need the space inside your brain at once.

First it’s the bad news that awaited me on the kitchen table when I got home; I have to start paying back my student loan. Perfect timing isn’t it? I’m not getting any student allowance because I missed one point. Yes that’s right, one frikkin point. They’re that cruel. And I don’t have a job. Basically I have zero income right now. How am I supposed to pay back a loan once every quarter with what I don’t have?

Secondly, I need to focus on trying to get my driver’s license as well. I can’t tell my brother to wait till summer. One reason is because I’m 23 years old; I was supposed to have my license five years ago. Another reason is that I don’t know what I’ll be doing this summer. My plan is to graduate before the summer and then find a real full-time job that I’m likely to stick with for a while. And if not… then well… at least I can take the car and run away from home! Far far away.

Thirdly, I don’t have all the course literature yet. I misunderstood the list and I’m now waiting for replies from various people who are willing to sell their books. That is extremely stressful, thinking that the course has already started.

Point four of all the things that are cramming the space between my temples is the overall question of how this semester is going to turn out. Am I going to be able to write my degree project; will I have graduated by the start of summer.

My problem is that my memory, both short term and long term, is extremely bad; I need to write everything down. And sometimes there are some things you simply don’t write down, for various reasons. I am likely to forget my own birthday this year.

One thing at a time… one thing at a time… one thing…

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