I have mentioned a few times that this year has been good to me. I wrote somewhere on my previous blog that I was looking for “my year”… because you know, everybody has a year ;P. Twenty years from now, hopefully many good things will happen in my life, but I shall not forget this year – in a way it felt like this year, I was reborn. A lot of what is to come in this post, regular readers already know. I don’t want to be annoyingly repetitive with these boring facts, but I have to in order to wrap this year up. It’s a long post. So long that I’ll be dividing it into two parts, and sectioning within them as well. I’ll start with the heavy stuff and then move on to some lighter topics. I also am dividing this post because I want to write about my New Year’s Eve (which predicted will be boring, but hopefully there will be some firework pictures). So the next part will show up after New Year.
Moving Back Home
It all started in March when I finally moved back home. There was probably nothing wrong with Luleå, the city where I lived (I went to college there), but for various reasons I couldn’t make myself comfortable. I didn’t plan ahead properly and I couldn’t estimate the costs of the decisions I took. I was extremely careless and made a mess of everything. So moving back home, despite not having finished my program, was the best decision I’ve taken in a long time.
Desperate Job Hunt
I started looking for a job, but it didn’t go well. In the beginning I was very ambitious and applied for jobs every day. I called up many of the employers as well. All that lead to just one interview (technically two because it was through a staffing company)… which obviously didn’t go well enough because I didn’t get the job.
Then in June, I took a break from it all by traveling to Italy with my family. That was one of the two best vacations I’ve had in my entire life (the other one being Egypt)!
Back home I continued my by now tiring routine, albeit less confidently. I felt like my lack of experience and characteristics weren’t going to give me a job anytime soon. Despite having written my whole life, I couldn’t manage to write a spicy personal letter accompanying my hollow CV. But how could I when I hadn’t ever worked longer than a week? I didn’t know how I was in environments as such – I barely knew how work environments worked!
One very regular day I think at the end of July, I received a call from my first employer (at Posten) who asked me if I’d be interested in working at Sweden Post Stamps (where she now works and helps with recruitment)! It felt like God had finally answered my prayers. I didn’t even contact her or look for a job there. I was looking for assistant positions – but this was better than nothing. At least now I could do something and earn some money while looking for other jobs. The interview didn’t go as well as I’d wished, mainly because I wasn’t prepared (the interview was the day after she called). But… I got the job!
The tiny bit of reluctance I had in working at a repository quickly went away, when I realized this is not at all like other repository/warehouse jobs. This is completely different, and you get to sit at a desk while packing (at least in two of the sections of the department). The first week was a bit awkward, but eventually things changed and I started socializing. I had colleagues now, and the more time I spent with these people the more I started discovering and rediscovering things. As I got to know them, I also got to know the new me. The shadow of the past turned to a faint ghost not even haunting me, and I realized that this was what I needed more than anything. I’ve earned more money than I’ve ever had in my bank account. Even though most of it is going to disappear when I start the long and costly process of taking my driver’s license, I now know how it feels to work and earn. I understand how my brother feels when he gets home from work and how you relate to work and home. I’ve met some ordinary yet unique people and actually made some friends. Okay… maybe I won’t see them, unless I decide to return this summer (my last work day is next Friday. And as Monday-Wednesday are Christmas days, I only have two more work days left), but I will remember them and I’m sure they will remember me as well. I realized that I can leave an imprint on people. It might not be that strong, but it is something. And that something for me is a lot.
Working has done more for me. I now also feel like I have the energy to go back to school (which I will be doing this semester). I’ve realized that it’s actually necessary to take breaks from studying and do other stuff, like work or travel. It gives you the energy and the courage to either continue, move on, start anew or take that step you’ve been afraid of taking for too many years. I can go on and on about what working at Sweden Post Stamps has meant for me… but then we’ll never see an end to this post :-/.
My nephew means the world to me. This year I’ve seen him learn new things, I’ve witnessed his first steps, been astonished over his addiction to cars, bonded with him (mainly through food. That little troll crawls faster than a lizard when he sees me eat. I can honestly never eat in peace at home!) and of course; learned to give in to aaalll of his demands (I didn’t want to be like his parents. But you can’t help it. Sometimes I suspect he’s actually acting when he’s crying and screaming…). Aaaannyywaay… he’s so annoying I don’t wanna live without him ^_^.
To be continued next year…