People change. It’s natural. Some people don’t. And some people don’t believe that people change. But I do. I do it so much that I actually presume that everyone will change sooner or later.

I have changed. A lot. I used to be shy (actually frightened is probably a word that better describes it), quiet(er) and had zero self-esteem. That’s back when my relatives loved me.

Then I fell into a dark pit and things got worse. My relatives… loved me even more?

Then I climbed up from the pit. I released myself from everything that kept me from being me. I retraced my steps and found my old passions. I matured. I learned to love myself. I gained confidence. This is when my relatives start to dislike me. Note; despite knowing partly about the hell I went through.

Confidence to them somehow means cockyness. Despite the fact that I was downright miserable a big part of my life, at least I was quiet and “listened” to what everybody said. Like hell I did. And my family knows that better than anyone. I never listened. The difference between me then and now is that I can finally rely on myself… which I didn’t know how to before.

I’m not the one to please people. That has never been a strength of mine. I want to be invisible and not let my performances in life show because I don’t want people to expect things from me. I can’t live up to those. People tend to get used to good things too fast, and have a hard time accepting that things aren’t going their way. And I can’t be a puppet on a string.

But it hurts. Some people forget that happiness matters. It’s all about their ingredients for a successful life. It doesn’t matter if you’re happy with yourself and focus on being a good person. You know why? Cuz you already are.

If we, for the sake of simplicity, presume that a person who isn’t bad is good; then one could say I’m a good person. But that doesn’t matter.

My relatives talk a lot of bullshit about “bad people”. They praise girls who study ambitiously and/or behave well. However… people like me? Well we’re just messups. Cuz being good-hearted is never enough. It always needs to be accompanied with good grades and a perfect husband.

Well you know what? I’ll gladly be the freak in a world filled with “perfect” people. Cuz that means I have a chance to evolve.

As someone once said…

I find imperfection the most interesting thing about a person.

Posted with WordPress for Android


7 thoughts on “Imperfectionist

  1. Relatives’ opinion about you changes like so fast you won’t even know what hit you. I stopped taking them seriously a long time back.
    You are right about the imperfections part.. 🙂


    1. Yeah they are what make you unique, at the same time as they make you grow and encourage you to refine yourself. If you think you’re perfect… then you have nowhere else to go. You’re kinda stuck.


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