It’s not that single life is getting boring and I desperately want someone in my life… but when you see people around getting involved and ready to take that step in life, you start thinking about your own – about how things might end up. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone.
I have friends to share my worries with, but they only agree or feel sorry for me. They can’t do much else, neither can I for them. Eventually I probably end up frustrating them. Who doesn’t want someone who keeps them company and gives a smile on their lips everyday?
If you ask me what kind of guy I want, I’d say I want someone who finishes my sentences. And finding that guy is impossible. And right now I’m learning to accept that. So I’m going through a rough patch. Because right when I have started to be content with my life and myself, I have realized that I most probably will have to spend the rest of it in misery.
I am an inward-facing person who has somehow covered the basics of socializing, but that’s it. I cannot and I will not turn myself into something that isn’t me. And that confidence scares me. Because I… I am unlikable. If it takes years for me to like myself, how will people like me after a couple of meetings? I must seem really cold, awkward and… simply weird.
And I’m sorry that I have come to like myself so much…. that I will not change and will continue to support the unconventional ways, the unorthodox methods… and the misfits.
I am sorry and I am sorry. Shit happens and then you die.
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