One would think I’d have all the time in the world to take care of all that must be done now that Rayan is not around – and I probably do – but I couldn’t do anything that had to be done today. I felt down all day. I don’t know how to get used to the silence. You could hear him cry from upstairs and then a few moments later one of his parents carrying him down. If I was in my room, I’d leave whatever I was doing and go upstairs to play with him. You know… I’d be okay with one week, cuz I’m at work during the days anyway, but six whole weeks just seems like a nightmare to me right now. Who knows… it might get better in a few days… although I doubt it.

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