Schrödinger’s Cat

Every once in a while, I take a risk. It took a while for me to reach this decision, but the ego has to be shelved this time. I have to hold my breath this time. I have to brace myself for the eventual tiny sting of embarrassment this time. It’s time to face reality […]

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Noveau Bliss

“Will 2018 be the year I…” That’s me talking to myself. A part of me is stupid like that, buys into the fantasy that somehow a digit change in the Gregorian calendar, or my birthday for that matter, will bring with it something new. Newness. My generation seems to have developed an innate difficulty of […]

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Breathing in Borrowed Time

What happened the last time you were granted something you had been waiting ages for? That one thing you had been praying for intensely? Were you as grateful as you promised you’d be? Mostly we aren’t. Allah is aware of it. I’ve learned that we’re kept in this state of want, because it keeps us […]

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Alien Invasions

Recently I’ve been thinking about this guy. Let’s just say he’s easy to like. Not my type, for certain obvious reasons, but I don’t think he’s bad as a person. I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about him specifically. I don’t know if we’ve ever even said hi to each other. We merely see […]

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Alhamdulillaahi alaa kulli haal

Something recently happened in my life that I didn’t quite expect ever would – at least not in this manner. Actually, this something has been growing for quite some time… it’s just recently it manifested itself in a shocking manner. And now I’m a little bit scared, but most of all I feel desperation. I’ve […]

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Jag önskar jag vore osynlig

När jag tänker på hatet i kommentarsfälten, tänker jag på ens psykiska välmående. Varje dag blir man så frustrerad av att se så mycket okunnighet, hat och absurda konspirationsteorier. Hur spelar det ut i längden? PTSD? Vissa är besatta av att bestämt konstatera det ena och det andra – det är fakta baserat på deras […]

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The Morning After

För Stockholms-barn behöfs ej måla På Norr den mångbesökta punkt, Där skenor ut som nerver stråla, Och järnvägsvagnar dåna tungt. – Carl Snoilsky, “På gammal tomt”* I was in the lunchroom at work when I got the news. We were having afternoon fika, and one of my colleagues got a ping on her phone and […]

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My Time in Your Space

I am flawed. Heavily so. Because I want what you have. Because my small human mind can’t even begin to comprehend the wisdom in why things turned out the way they did, and why this is, which I cannot identify as anything else than a stagnant state. I dodge bullets – sometimes it feels like all […]

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Wandering Gaze

I have gained peaceful places and quiet moments. Many of them. A lot of time and space for self-reflection. I am left alone now. Or maybe I have simply become such a small imprint on the world that it’s not relevant to remember me. It’s easy to become relevant again – all you have to […]

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